A Humbling Experience
To become a Board Certified Chaplain, a person must have a college degree, a seminary degree, and four units of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). This represents a full year of supervised training, usually in a hospital setting. In addition, candidates must complete an additional 2,000 hours of experience and then pass a board examination. The examination comprises 36 core competencies passed either in writing or orally before an examination committee of peers chosen by the Board of Chaplaincy Certification.
When I was preparing for my boards in 2019, I assembled a mock committee as recommended. These Certified Board Chaplains reviewed my written material—about 50 pages of answers—and after meeting with me, told me I needed to improve my position on three competencies. Otherwise, they assured me, I should do well.
When it came time to meet with my committee, I sent my material to a “Presenter.” This person gives first impressions of a candidate’s work to both the committee and the candidate, highlighting which objectives the committee might question during the in-person interview. When I received my work back from my presenter, 17 of my 36 competencies were deficient. I would have to defend and pass them orally to become board-certified.
I went to Duke University as prepared as possible, but feeling overwhelmed and nervous. That day, I left without receiving my credentials. I would have to resubmit many of my competencies in writing six months later and meet with another committee, my final chance to become board-certified.
Humbling.
Wrestling with Humiliation
This was painful on many fronts. I had not approached this process thinking, “I’ve got this.” I had taken advice from others and pulled together a mock committee. However, I drew a tough presenter and a tough committee. It was Duke, after all. I stewed for a while, but eventually I decided that if I was going to pass my boards six months later, I needed to humble myself.
I reached out to the presenter who had graded my work so harshly and asked him to mentor me through the rewrite. I reasoned that if my work could pass his scrutiny, I should not have any problem with the second committee.
Even though my initial thoughts of him were harsh, I found him to be gracious, helpful, and insightful. Through the rewrite, I learned where my work was deficient and gained the confidence I needed to face the next committee. Nearly all my competencies passed the next writing phase, and I was confident as I sat with the committee. There was never any question about whether I was qualified or whether I would pass the couple of remaining questions they had.
Humility had been my friend.
Humiliation had forced my humility.
The Connection to Step Seven
What does this story have to do with the seventh step of Alcoholics Anonymous: “Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings”?
Alcoholics believe they can live on their own individual strength and intelligence. They are not alone in believing this, but if you have ever tried to help an alcoholic, you know it’s difficult to reach them. What can you tell an alcoholic? Not much—not until they decide to humble themselves and admit they are powerless over alcohol. The first step requires great humility. So do all the steps, but especially step seven.
Alcoholics cannot see themselves objectively, and their judgment is severely skewed because good judgment is one of the first things an alcoholic loses. Therefore, arrogance is a common trait among those with addictions.
The Profile of Arrogance
Arrogant people:
- Are mostly concerned about satisfying their needs to the exclusion of others.
- Think they are self-sufficient.
- Rely on their own individual strength and intelligence, often exaggerating these qualities, sometimes making claims that are over-the-top or even false
- Believe they are above reproach.
- Want to dominate the conversation.
- Have an inflated sense of self-importance.
- Do not admit mistakes or accept criticism.
- Do not say, “I was wrong,” or “I am sorry.”
- Use sarcasm and patronizing language and behavior.
- Are selfish people.
- Have little empathy for others.
- Want to satisfy their wants and desires first and deal with the consequences later.
If you know a person who struggles with alcohol addiction, look at this list and mentally check off how many traits describe that person.
The Parable of the Bigger Barns
Jesus once told a parable of a man whose crops yielded an unexpectedly large harvest. There was so much grain that he could not store it all. So he tore down the barns he had and built bigger ones so he could live a life of ease, thinking only of himself. But Jesus said he was foolish because he had given no thought to end-of-life issues, and his life was about to end. This man might have been rich by the world’s standards, but he was not rich by God’s.
If alcoholics are lucky, some event or series of events jolts them into reality before they lose their families, jobs, reputations, health, or their lives. They realized their arrogance had worked against them, not for them. Making the change from arrogance to humility is difficult but necessary for sobriety. The alcoholic cannot do this alone. God is there to help. Step seven asks God to intervene—to do for the alcoholic what they cannot do for themselves—remove their shortcomings.
Fear Behind the Facade
The farmer who built bigger barns did so because he was afraid of losing what he had. You may have never thought that arrogant people are fearful, but they are. They are afraid of losing their power, their money, their status, their looks, their position, their authority, their ability, or their vices. They may be afraid they will never get something they do not have. With this fear driving them, they puff themselves up, make themselves bigger than they are to protect what they have. They cannot allow themselves to be wrong, vulnerable, empathetic, or kind—not even to themselves. The world revolves around an arrogant person.
For an alcoholic, the number one goal and priority is to continue drinking, and arrogance is the shield used to deflect, defend, and deny that their alcohol use is a problem.
The Gift of Humiliation
Some alcoholics are fortunate enough to have a humiliating event that wakes them up, causing them to see their shortcomings. For those, step seven is a thankful step: “Humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings.” We realize that we have shortcomings and that we need to confess them. The scripture says, “If we claim that we’re free of sin, we’re only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—simply come clean about them—he won’t let us down; he’ll be true to himself. He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing.” — 1 John 1:9, The Message Bible
This is the Good News that we all need to hear — all of us, whether or not we have an addiction to alcohol.