Blog

Words About Heaven to a Dying Friend

A good friend of mine recently died of cancer. We both had a love for writing, missions, and family. We had similar views on religion and politics and enjoyed a good conversation. Not long before he died, his wife called and said that her husband would like for me to...

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Mean Self-Righteousness Can Mask as Kindness

Many years ago, two deacons from a church I was pastoring asked if they could take me to lunch. Was this an act of kindness? An act of thanks for my hard work? There's always a reason for lunch. There's the eating part—we all have to eat—and then there's the talking...

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Confessions of a Workaholic

My wife clocked out of her state job for the last time recently. She is now officially retired. It's good timing, as she's needed to help her mother care for her father, who is in hospice care. Recently, my wife asked me to work less in 2024. I sat down and did the...

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The Power of an Emoji 

Recently, I wrote a heartfelt message to a troubled friend and sent it via Messenger. Within a few minutes, an angry-face emoji popped up beside my message. Instantly, I felt a sensation in the pit of my stomach that I recognized as anxiety. I immediately thought,...

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When Marriage is Like Two Ships That Pass in the Night

The 1979 Barry Manilow song "Ships" peaked at number nine on the Billboard Hot 100. Manilow's beautiful melancholy tone in this song reflects the love of a father and son, best characterized by their geographical distance and emotional pain. They try to rationalize...

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What Dying Patients Are Teaching Me About the End of Life

1. We Lay Down Trophies and Accolades After visiting a well-known aging pastor and his wife, I thought about the couple's influence among their peers, church, community, and denomination. Most of this had vanished because of their declining health and years removed...

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When Trust Erodes Love Fades

When Trust Erodes Love Fades Throughout my ministry, I have counseled about 150 couples.  Many have been pre-marital couples and others have been couples with marital problems.  Through my counseling and my marriage, I have learned how important trust is to...

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Anxiety in the Family System

When my wife and I were raising our two sons, we noticed the oldest was struggling with anxiety issues.  We took him to a psychologist, and after a couple of sessions, she said, “Don’t bring him back.  You are wasting your money.  I can’t get him to talk to me.”  My...

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Avoidance Allows Fear to Grow

When I was a child/adolescent, I was diagnosed with a “nervous stomach.” Fifty years ago, I don’t know how much my doctor knew about the correlation between anxiety and the body. My doctor never used the word “anxiety” to describe my condition, nor was I ever offered...

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