Blog

“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” – A.A. In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown writes that our first response to pain is often self-protection. We shield ourselves by blaming others, turning to judgment,...

 “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” As a pastoral counselor, people often come to me for help in overcoming their addiction because I bring both theological training and psychological education to the table. What...

Step One to Sobriety  We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. Who’s the Boss of You? Once I heard two children arguing, and one of them said to the other, “You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not the boss of me.” Truthfully,...

The Smells of Football The scent hit me like a memory bomb—wet grass on a humid morning. I was on my hands and knees pulling weeds from my lawn, but in an instant, I was seventeen again, face-first on a football field, the weight of bodies pressing down, lungs...

When was the last time you failed at something? Every week I sit with someone in my counseling practice who’s failed at something. For some, it’s their marriage.  For others, the failed relationship is with a parent or a son or daughter.  Children that don’t get a...

A good friend of mine recently died of cancer. We both had a love for writing, missions, and family. We had similar views on religion and politics and enjoyed a good conversation. Not long before he died, his wife called and said that her husband would like for me to...

Many years ago, two deacons from a church I was pastoring asked if they could take me to lunch. Was this an act of kindness? An act of thanks for my hard work? There's always a reason for lunch. There's the eating part—we all have to eat—and then there's the talking...

My wife clocked out of her state job for the last time recently. She is now officially retired. It's good timing, as she's needed to help her mother care for her father, who is in hospice care. Recently, my wife asked me to work less in 2024. I sat down and did the...

The 1979 Barry Manilow song "Ships" peaked at number nine on the Billboard Hot 100. Manilow's beautiful melancholy tone in this song reflects the love of a father and son, best characterized by their geographical distance and emotional pain. They try to rationalize...

1. We Lay Down Trophies and Accolades After visiting a well-known aging pastor and his wife, I thought about the couple's influence among their peers, church, community, and denomination. Most of this had vanished because of their declining health and years removed...

When Trust Erodes Love Fades Throughout my ministry, I have counseled about 150 couples.  Many have been pre-marital couples and others have been couples with marital problems.  Through my counseling and my marriage, I have learned how important trust is to...